


This Sea; It Won't Drag You Underneath

by twenty_one_plants



Category: Bandom, Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Hope, Hopeful Ending, M/M, Medication, References to Depression, References to Illness, Songfic, The Postal Service lyrics, The postal service, Therapy, Turn Around Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-02
Updated: 2016-01-02
Packaged: 2018-05-11 00:36:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,875
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5607004
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twenty_one_plants/pseuds/twenty_one_plants
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Josh takes the cassette player from under his thigh, upon closer inspection, there’s white stars painted on the hard plastic in acrylic. The red cassette inside is clear and like melting ice. </p><p>He pulls out the final earbud in his ear, passing it all to Tyler. Tyler looked at it curiously, giving Josh a confused glance after he finished his pastry.</p><p>Josh smiles weakly, nodding. Tyler puts an earbud in, eyes freshening up and lighting a bit when he hears the music playing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	This Sea; It Won't Drag You Underneath

**Author's Note:**

  * For [semi_automatic](https://archiveofourown.org/users/semi_automatic/gifts).



_ Cool hands, warm heart _

__

 

Snow blanketing dreams, shivering under blankets, breathing. Ice crying due to loneliness, breathing underwater.

 

 

_ Big dreams, false starts _

 

 

The ocean is frozen over in his dream, walking along the iced water, not scared of watching the ice break, him falling through, nose red and hands shaky. 

Breathing underwater. The ice shatters, he falls through, scratches his way back up, can’t, trapped under ice, crying, the slowing of a heart.

 

 

_ Those pills, don't work _

 

 

Josh’s eyes snap open, shooting up in bed, clothes sticking to his chubby frame, hair damp with sweat. Tyler isn’t beside him.

Taking vitamins. Standing up. Nearly stuttering feelings in his chest like breathing on water, breathing under.

 

 

_ They just, make it worse _

 

 

Get bundled up. Stand up.  _ Be a man.  _ Check your texts. Text Tyler you’ll meet him at the park. He texts back and you feel uneasy.

 

 

_ Don't say, you're through _

 

 

Josh takes the bus. The sunrise is hardly awake, ice and snow covering the ground, it’s just like his dream, just like floating suspended in water, underneath.

He sits in the back of the bus, scared of everyone else.

 

 

_ I'll swim, beside you _

 

 

Drops him off downtown, he goes into a record store, it can’t hurt to waste time when ice is slowing everything down, finding a red cassette, grinning, grinning.

Swimming in ice and something that warms the ice.

 

 

_ This town, this sea _

 

 

He hopes he can warm Tyler.

 

 

_ Won't drag you underneath _

 

 

Josh kicks his feet along the aisles of music he’ll never get around to listening to, red cassette in gloved hand, adjusting his scarf. 

Heavy breathing under a daze, rubbing a hand through deep blue hair that had been covered with a beanie. He pays for the treasure and sets off for the park.

 

 

_ You gotta know that this will turn around _

 

 

Pocketing his find encased in plastic, feelings. Walking on icy salt water, breathing slows.

 

 

_ Until then I will not let you down _

 

 

Doing everything for Tyler, breathing underwater, breathing at the highest mountain.

 

 

_ When you find your ship has run aground _

 

 

Maybe he can help Tyler feel more. Feel better. Breathe easier. 

J osh picks up Tyler’s prescription from the pharmacy, on the walk towards the park full of icicles and foliage that was in deep slumbers of ice, trapped in a single moment.

 

 

_ You can call me, I won't let you down _

 

 

As he’s about to put in earbuds, he gets a call from Tyler, soft short words, fear, fear, fear. 

Josh has to lean against a building out of sight to speak, to coo, to calm, and manages to level the ocean a bit, soft reassuring words that will work for a bit. 

He reminds Tyler that he’ll be at the park, and it’s okay if he’s a no show.

 

 

_ I won't let you down _

 

 

Breathing weakly, he gets food, something small for the two of them, then sits on a bench in the park with his legs up, folded into his chest.

 

 

_ This will turn around _

 

 

Slowly migrating to the bridge of the duck pond, filled with frozen water, algae suspended in a flowing motion under the ice, slumbering, awaiting to awake as the sun came up far more.

Bums asleep on the edges of the park, one shivering and having a hard time.

Josh stands up, walking over to offer his jacket to the homeless man trying to stay warm on the bank of the pond, the man grins up with a cracked smile and gleefully takes the warm parka, putting it on and shaking far less. 

Josh smiles warmly, a few words shared before the man falls asleep, a smile on his face.

 

 

_ Sick days _

 

 

Josh sits back down on the bridge, feet dangling and nearly touching the frozen water below. 

The bridge was only about two feet above the water, so his toes could definitely touch the icy pond. Shoving in earbuds.

 

 

_ Drunk nights _

 

 

Looking down at the cassette. Opening the case, admiring the red plastic, before shoving it into a cassette player he always carries with him.

Shivering in the early morning air, breathing in the sharp, crisp air… Shivering, shivering….

 

 

_ Short fuse _

 

 

The cassette begins to play slowly, shaky air being inhaled into feverishly warm lungs, tremble.

 

 

_ Loud fights _

 

 

_ Josh trembles. Maybe he can make Tyler feel. _

 

 

_ Lose weight: all bones _

 

 

Shutting eyes, breathing hard, trembling, trembling, oh, god the trembling. 

How can he get Tyler to know that he’s brave, that he’s loved, that he can breath easy one day?

 

 

_ White trucks _

 

 

Never wanting to let Tyler down, hurt him.

 

 

_ The undertow _

 

 

_ Singing along, loudly, breathing... _

 

 

_ Don't say, you're done _

 

 

The air chills his skin down to bone, the ice melting slowly as a sunrise began.

 

 

_ 'Cause you're brave and you're loved _

 

 

Still not a sunrise to be amazed by, a mere dust of pink shining through trees and awakening freezing glittering leaves, cold finger webbings, numb pink lips that match with the dust of pinks that began to arise.

 

 

_ This town, this sea _

 

 

Josh looks around, the homeless man happily sleeping in the warmth of a new jacket, ducks beginning to awaken and lead their young, the pond below slowly stroking back into motion, the algae breathing again and awakening.

 

 

_ It won't drag you underneath _

 

 

 

Josh stares down at his feet, scuffed toes of his converse cracking the ice below, making it shift in tiny plates and fault lines, shattering along the pond slower than ice, slower than breathing. 

The warm food in the bag is beside him, cassette player between his thighs for security, and his heart...

 

 

_ You gotta know that this will turn around _

 

 

Josh's heart is slowly thawing. He leans his head against one of the bridge’s skeletal railings, feeling the pang of cold from the metal seep into his mind, it’s calming.

 

 

_ Until then I will not let you down _

 

 

He isn’t sure if Tyler will show or not, but either way, waiting is always fine with Josh. He’ll always wait for Tyler, or be there, or be patient. 

Josh refuses to eat the food until Tyler shows. If he doesn’t, he would take the bus back home, get a new jacket, make more things, then walk to Tyler’s home.

 

 

_ When you find your ship has run aground _

 

 

Either way, the ice is hard to breathe under.

 

 

_ You can call me, I won't let you down _

 

 

Tapping on the railing with cold piano fingers causes Josh to stir from his underwater haze, eyes snapping up, chill down his spine at the figure standing at the mouth of the bridge, lingering and not yet on the bridge.

 

 

_ I won't let you down _

 

 

Josh stares for a few moments, smiles.

 

 

_ This will turn around _

 

 

_ The ice in his dream shatters open, fresh air in his lungs, he is pulled from the hole that he had fallen through, heavy breaths and shivers and gasping for air, spitting up icy water. _

 

 

_ I won't let you down _

 

 

Josh keeps eye contact with the figure, feeling his entire chest warm.

 

 

_ You know that this'll turn around _

 

 

The figure lingers uneasily, before taking slow steps closer, hand slowly tracing the railing as he walked to Josh, silent, quiet, bundled up in a sweater that Josh had bought for him, it was oversized and had stars all over it.

 

 

_ Turn around, turn around, turn around oh-oh _

 

 

Josh grins more and more as he walks closer, pulling his legs from the underwater feeling when he was dangling them off, sits cross legged on the wooden bridge, patting the spot in front of him, hiding the cassette player under his left thigh, taking the warm pastries from the bag and placing them on top of the paper bag once he smooths out the paper, a place-mat of sorts on the bridge. 

The figure sits down.

 

 

_ Turn around, turn around, turn around oh-oh _

 

 

Josh notices that he isn’t wearing gloves, reaching forward, gently taking off his own gloves and, carefully, stretching them over his hands. 

He left the top part of the gloves undone, so if he had wanted to use his fingers through it he could. 

J osh loves fingerless gloves with the sewn in option to pull warm cloth over and fasten it, so they become mittens.

 

 

_ Turn around, turn around, turn around oh-oh _

 

 

Offering the pastry to him, watching as he quietly took it, smiled, began eating it. Josh knew that he didn’t speak much, especially with what happened. 

And Josh was okay with this, breathing soft, never breathing underwater, now breathing fresh, crisp air.

 

 

_ Turn around, turn around, turn around oh-oh _

 

 

Josh gently pushes a bottle of medication into his lap, smiling softly, muttering a few words about how he had picked it up this morning so he didn’t have to deal with speaking to someone, since he had used up the rest of his prescription last night with the final dose. 

 

 

_ Turn around, turn around, turn around oh-oh _

 

 

Josh whispers softly about how he’s trying to find a therapist for him, how he’s been having luck. He doesn’t expect or need a reply from him, he just wants to let him know.

 

 

_ Turn around, turn around, turn around oh-oh _

 

 

Josh feels the water leave his lungs. He knows… He knows it’s hard right now, but they’re together now. 

They’re together, after so many years apart, growing closer, breathing different air. 

But right here, the same crisp morning air as the sun begins to rise, cause hard ice to quietly melt into glittering pools of water drops and life, as everything awakens from it’s slumber and flows again, algae softly swirling in the pond below. 

He knows it’s hard, but things will turn around, get better, stronger, breathe.

 

 

_ Turn around, turn around, turn around oh-oh _

 

 

Josh takes the cassette player from under his thigh, upon closer inspection, there’s white stars painted on the hard plastic in acrylic. 

The red cassette inside is clear and like melting ice.  He pulls out the final earbud in his ear, passing it all to Tyler. 

Tyler looked at it curiously, giving Josh a confused glance after he finished his pastry.

 

Josh smiles weakly, nodding. Tyler puts an earbud in, eyes freshening up and lighting a bit when he hears the music playing.

 

“I g-got you a red cassette… I know you like The Postal Service… so I wanted to get it for you. I also made the cassette player for you, I mean… so you can drown out anyone around you. Baby boy, things will turn around and grow and be better, we’ve made it through about four years of being apart in body but not in mind, look at us now, we’re eating breakfast together at a duck pond right next to each other, breathing the same air. You’re so brave, so loved. You can do this, we can. I’m here. We can turn all of this negativity around.”

 

 

_ Turn around, turn around, turn around oh-oh _

 

 

Snow blanketing dreams, holding one another under blankets, breathing easier. Ice laughing due to things becoming better.

 

Breathing air with the person you needed to the most.

 

Josh holds Tyler’s hand.

 

“We can turn all of this around and we can both, definitely be okay.”

  
“I love you, Tyler.”

**Author's Note:**

> For my baby boy. We can be together in the future and we can turn around all of this negativity, and we will survive. We will turn everything around for the better.


End file.
